


what a heavenly way to die

by twoheadlights (fizzfic)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, jamaica 2010
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 15:14:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16286957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzfic/pseuds/twoheadlights
Summary: jamaica 2010 - mumbai 2018





	what a heavenly way to die

**Author's Note:**

> (almost done!!!! oh my god!!!!!)

**jamaica**

**2010**

 

Phil was never much of a romantic. He wasn’t the kind to fantasize about the future, coming up with scenarios in his head that would likely not happen. Not always anyway. It’s something he learned to do – from _him_.

Dan lives in the clouds – he talks about all sorts of things like when he’ll finally move to Manchester for uni, and they’ll see each other every day, meet up for lunch, and Dan can stay at the flat during the weekend (he’s hinted at leaving some clothes at Phil’s place anyway although Phil reckons Dan will probably just wear _his_ clothes, being the thief that he is). Phil likes it and he likes thinking about it.

They’re in Jamaica, on work but it doesn’t feel like it. It feels more like they’re on holiday, their first one together. He hopes there'll be more. He wants to see the whole world with Dan.

Phil is in love. He’s never been in love, he doesn’t think. Not with another person, not the way he is with Dan. Violins didn’t exactly go off when he first met Dan, there was no wind blowing, making everything dramatic, but his heart raced and his pupils probably dilated and he felt energy surge through him like he’d been shot with an amount of electricity that should’ve killed him instantly but instead it makes him feel more alive. Now, when he even so much as glances at Dan, he feels calm wash over him. He feels _okay_ knowing that he’s by Phil’s side, that he took a plane with him to an island across the ocean with no second thought, that he took a train across the country to see him with no second thought.

“Phil, you're staring,” Dan says, opening one eye to look at him. They're by the pool, sunbathing, although Phil has a huge umbrella shading him because despite the SPF 35,000 he doesn't want to take any chances with his pale and sensitive skin.

Phil sighs dramatically and leans over, tucking a sneaky curl behind Dan's ear. “I'm _admiring_ , Daniel. There's no law against admiring the love of your life, is there?”

Dan snorts and shuts both his eyes again, stretching like a cat, his toes curling. “You're so fucking whipped.” He says, but there's no real bite to it. Au contraire, he sounds bloody pleased by this fact.

“And what about it?” Phil retorts. Against his better judgement, he gets off his own lounge chair and walks over to Dan's and sits himself on the younger boy's lap, peering down at him. “Better view,” he explains seriously. He leans down and kisses Dan's nose, feeling like he's been neglecting it.

Dan just sighs, but he has the slightest ghost of a smile on his face.

“What're you thinking about?” Phil asks, genuinely curious.

“Just.” Dan's hands go up to touch Phil's waist, and his thumbs rub circles on the skin there. “How much I love you. How much good has happened since you've come into my life.”

“The same happened to me too, y'know.”

“Yeah, but you asked what I was thinking so I'm just telling you.”

“My mistake,” Phil concedes. “Go on.” He lets his head fall onto Dan's chest now, feeling his heartbeat _thump thump thump_ against his temple and ear as Dan continues—

“I’m going to come out sounding really naïve right now, but just. Let me.” He pauses. “I don't see a future without you in my life. Without an _us_ . Also, it’s sort of hard to believe we’re here together, y’know what I mean? In _Jamaica_. And I’m not tired of you.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“It’s the truth.” Dan sighs. “If we died tomorrow, I would be happy because I’ve had the honour of knowing you, of _loving_ you. I mean, there’s other stuff too but you’re in the top three things that happened to me in the last year.”

Phil doesn't reply, just hums, hoping that Dan understands how on the same page they are about this.

 

-

 

**mumbai**

**2018**

  


It's funny to be in Mumbai with Dan. Phil had a mild grudge against the Indian Peninsula because it had kept him and Dan apart for their first Valentine's day, and then again for a Christmas and New Year's in like, 2013 (and another time when he went to Sri Lanka – honestly that trip still confuses Phil which is why he doesn’t _really_ count it). So yeah, he never thought he'd be here with him, sharing a hotel room, looking over a beautiful back garden of probably the fanciest hotel they'd stayed at the whole tour.

He feels an odd sense of déjà vu as he looks over at Dan on the other side of their huge bed. He rolls over to him, pressing himself against Dan, looking up at his boyfriend. Wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist and letting his head fall on him. They don't need to fill up silences when they're together, just enjoying each other's company, which is why Phil thinks they haven't gotten fed up with each other. It feels like he's on his own in the room, with a particularly warm and squishy pillow to hold.

It's the evening after their last confirmed show of the tour, and so Phil really lets his exhaustion take over. He hums against Dan's skin, nudging his nose on his arm so that he'll get his hair played with.

“Phil? You sleeping?”

“Not yet but I might pass out without warning.” He looks up at Dan, who has a weird expression on his face. “Why, what's up?”

“Nothing. You're just being clingier than usual.”

Phil looks horrified. “Are you _complaining_?”

“No—”

“You know, I thought we were different, the most envied couple because we're so close in every which way possible, and now I have to face the fact that my absolute _soulmate_ doesn't even want me to lean on him—”

Dan cuts him off by laughing and leaning down to kiss him. “Shut up, you dork,” he says, eyes sparkling, dimples deep. The most beautiful person Phil has ever laid his eyes upon. Still.

“You realise saying you leaning on me just ages you, right?”

And the spell is broken. Phil lightly punches Dan in the arm, making him wince.

“Anyway. Pretty cool that we’re here together.” Phil says, playing with Dan’s fingers. “Do you remember the first time you came to India?”

Dan smiles as if reminiscing. “I believe we Skyped for ages, with me using shitty hotel WiFi. Sidenote, that’s improved loads since 2010.”

“It’s because they heard I was coming along this time.”

“Sure. I also believe you professed your love for me just because you got really lonely and I went to sleep.”

“I get bored, I make things,” Phil says, shrugging. “Anyway, I hated India for those two weeks. It kept me so far from you.”

“Same.”

“But we’re here now _together_. Life is funny.”

“Hilarious. I can’t stop laughing.”

They fall back into silence but then Phil remembers something else, something that’s stayed with him for seven years, something Dan said lying on his back while sun rays hit his form, making him glow golden, his hair curly and unruly. “I could die tomorrow and be happy,” Phil says, aloud.

“Dark.”

Phil nods. “I just. I feel like, I have a life, but I really made it _a life_ , you know? I met the love of my life, saw the world with him, worked my way up, gave myself a platform where I could do some good in the world, all with my soulmate—”

“ _Very_ important detail.”

Phil sits up now and looks at Dan straight in the eye. “Do you remember that video you did in like 2012, it was about your existential crisis. You were at peak twink.”

Dan snorts. “That helps narrow it down.”

“You said something like, life is about being happy, and achieving happiness and so when you’re on your deathbed, you think back to it all and your final thoughts are, ‘yes that was good, that was satisfactory.’”

Dan’s expression has lost all its amusement. “I remember,” he says softly.

“Yeah, I feel like I'm close to that point now.”

He feels very overwhelmed all of a sudden, so he buries his face in Dan's chest. Dan runs his hand through Phil's hair and says, “Well, old man. Age has certainly turned you into a sap.” Phil groans. “Anyway,” he continues, “you know this isn't the end. You can't _die_ before forever home.”

“ _You're_ my forever home.”

“Disgusting.”

Phil smiles against Dan's skin. “You're right though. I can't wait for that.”

Dan just hums this time, and strokes Phil's cheek. He doesn't know when but they both fall asleep in each other's arms and Phil dreams of going back home to England and starting a new chapter with his best friend, his soulmate, his Dan.

 


End file.
